A mere concoction

Picture courtesy: Salon.com

Picture courtesy: Salon.com

I’m suddenly in a mood to dissect this thing that makes the world go round. I know everyone who has ever fallen in love, would resonate with my thoughts about this indescribable feeling. Not infatuation but more than that, can I call it true love? Maybe.

Do you believe in the idea of pure love? That feeling of pure bliss where every flaw slips into perfection(?). Some of you might nod in agreement, some of you won’t. I cater to the former category.

For a man who can passionately fall for someone, I think they would have more things to talk about..oh, her hair, her smile, her skin, her bones (think Kings of Leon’s songs). Most of these love songs penned by male singers are moving, passionate. Or so I found them. Well, women are subtle, the milder creatures they say. I don’t think so. Except that they have fewer things to talk about, their men that is. Notice this; men tend to get more hedonistic than women. We aren’t as sexual as they are. Yes, they can blame it on the law of evolution. Like, come on, we are sexual creatures. There’s no denying that. After all, we need people to run the world. They are right.

I don’t know if you’ve dwelled upon this. But men seem to desire certain parts of women’s body that seeks to procreate. We are naturally designed for procreation. Yes, we are supposedly the higher beings and there’s more to this idea of evolution that results directly from sex. Perhaps, it’s therefore a big taboo and a topic we should hush about. Why? Because it’s a powerful medium of evolution. At least, it is sanctimonious for few people. You know what I mean.

True love is very subjective. Interestingly, a scientist friend of mine (in his early 50s), claimed that he can categorize this “love” into three phases: innocent love (6-15 year old), infatuation (above 16), and exalted love (no margins). So, he said, we all crave for the exalted love where there’s complete union of two souls, where each partner understand one another and respect their shortcomings, and still love, everyday. Now, that’s rare. Hence, we all roll from one relationship to another in search of that comfort. We could find true love early in our lives, but most often, it’s like digging for gold. If you’ve found it, you are fortunate.

We confuse lust for love, infatuation for love. Part of this confusion stems from being unrealistic. Can I say unrealistic, or, idealistic? If it’s a short term, good luck with that. But if you ought to have a long term, sustaining a relationship is a hardship, because it’s a delicate plant that needs to be looked after by constant flow of love, respect, loyalty, commitment and lots of love. More than physical attraction, there has to be a mental connection. That, I think brings us closer to feeling true love, the so-called  divine love.

In short, true love is ambiguous.

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